Oh, high school. Things seemed so big and important. And really, they were. When something is the most painful thing that has happened to you in your life, that is an intense pain even though people that are older will often scorn the experience.
So, in high school I had a friend and her girlfriend had cheated on her. Her girlfriend openly flirted with the guy I was dating (which startled me more than anything, I’ve never experienced jealousy as a thing). I was like a dog with a bone and couldn’t let it go. She *should* deal with this! She had to deal with this! How can one not deal with this?!? So, this built distance between us. And when the relationship ended I couldn’t be there to pour affection on her, because of the distance. It’s better, I think give an opinion but still be neutral, let people make of their own minds. That way you can be there for them.
Posts tagged nf
Feeler in the mbti, NF temperament sense. (It has been a day of disentangling functions.)
When I’m following through on a wave of emotion/series of emotional events it can be hard to articulate the why. NTs will sometimes try and problem-solve right away. I really need to ride it out before I can analyze or fix.
It doesn’t help when you use loaded phrases (“we really need to talk”); when they’re vague I can’t help but fixate on all the possibilities.
This seems to boggle some Ts I know but, if you tell someone you care about them as you’re walking out the door, that is less powerful than telling them when you’re sitting next to them. Many NTs I know have larger personal bubbles, it worth considering shrinking that for NFs you care about.
It’s sometimes much easier matching others expectations than trying to figure out one’s own desires.
I was 19 when this lesson finally stuck. It took having my trust betrayed by the person I was trying to save.
It’s hard to accept an overflow of emotion when it seems like more than one can contain. I used to find it hard to accept extreme emotions as being “true” rather than dismissing them as melodramatic. When you dismiss them it usually results in bottling up of emotion, causing larger tidal waves later.
This is one of the ways I can tell I’m falling hard. Though, I’ve never mentioned it to a man I was falling for. How does one say “you fit easily into the patterns in my head” without sounding… psychotic?
Self-actualization drives most of my emotional truths. Though within all of them I am willing to turn any upside down or throw it away if I realize it’s false. I’ve noticed NJs in general have a strong need for a personal truth. For many INTJs I know it’s perfecting their understanding of ideas and intellectual truth.
I'm an INFJ. I love people. I love analyzing them. You'll find some of my thoughts here. I do a doodle a day, seven days a week. I'm going until the thoughts empty out of my head.
