When I was younger I on and off had the desire to end up hospitalized with some minor explainable injury that would give me a reason to step out of the world. The idea of not having to explain anything to anyone and just take a break from reality. Being older and having more control over my environment (living in my own place) is wonderful. It was frustrating when I was younger, having to deal with the real world. Now i deal with the parts of it I want to, when I want to.